Goodnight Mrs. Calabash: The Farm Report 02-14-2019

February 14, 2020

I am re-posting this blog entry from last year for two reasons: One is that I am still the 'Unofficial Advocate Boy' for Ovarian Cancer. We need to keep it upfront and work to find the cause and cure. Two is that I still find old friends from times past who have not received the message of Joyce's passing. What a wonderful thing to have made so many friends in business so long ago that still stay in touch. At the same time, a tragedy to have to tell them the awful news. We often traveled as a pair teaching professional furniture restoration classes to shop owners all over the USA. I was a listed AIC member specializing in wooden artifacts and interior decorative objects. Joyce was a credentialed member of the American Society of Interior Designers, with a special interest in grand public buildings. Thus, we have friends in obscure places far away and in between.

This will be my last re-posting of this blog entry. Next time will be something much more fun - I promise! 

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Goodnight Mrs. Calabash:
The Farm Report 02-14-2019

I've thought and thought about what I should tell you today. I do want to keep to my New Year's Resolution and post regularly for you. But you'll understand, I'm sure, when I tell you that today isn't a good day for me. I am very committed to being a happy guy committed to making the most out of every day - and not to just be a Sad Sack - and I do want to find something good for this post. But, today is a hard day. Today is the one-year-ago day I lost my lifetime sweetie, best friend and love of my life. 

Please permit me to share this with you. I do have a purpose in it. This was my Joyce at Christmas a year ago - 2017. Who would have known that just a few weeks later she would have been gone. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2014. Following a huge surgery, and pretty much full-time chemo, she did well. She lived another 3 1/2 years, and I want to emphasize that they were mostly good years! We had wonderful doctors and nurses - and the chemo/infusion nurses all get a very special place in heaven. Wonderful. She was able to return to her beloved classroom for another year after this. But eventually, the disease took its tole and she just didn't have the stamina to continue teaching. Her goal had been to teach until she was 70. She nearly made it too! She loved teaching and her students, and most of them loved her right back. Most of 'em.

So here's my purpose and I'm going to be blunt saying it: Ovarian cancer is a son-of-a-bitch! It shows virtually no symptoms, and it often kills its victims within weeks sometimes, or after a few months in other cases. Joyce was lucky, if you can say that, because she had just excellent doctors looking after her, and a strong faith and will to make the most out of a bad situation. Her family doc diagnosed her disease very very early. She got treatment right away. She got to live longer than most. Breast cancer has advocates and tricky pink stuff to remind people about it, because breast cancer patients often survive. Hooorayy!!! But ovarian cancer kills, and kills quicky, so there isn't a big support/advocate group to help people fight it. That's where my job comes in. I am the unofficial Ovarian Cancer Advocate Boy. So now, today, I am advocating!

Get seen by a doc if you have any signs of abdominal discomfort, and you are a gal, and you're not sure what it is. Period. 

Joyce thought she had pulled a muscle near her diaphragm doing garden work. Wrong. But her docs knew better, and they went after it.

Here is a link to help you learn more about it:

https://www.ovariancancerawareness.org/

I have no relationship with this group at all. I just picked it to get you started. Learn all you can. And guys, if you have a gal in your life - sweetie, sister, mother - you get the point, support them to be seen if there is ANY symptom. 

So there. I hope you'll understand why I'm a little exercised today. 

Here is the February Calendar pic. This was taken one week ago actually. 

The land had been covered with about a foot of snow just days before this pic. Then we had a hot wind - not me! - and it all melted off in a fog London would have been proud of. 

This one was taken today. We're back to winter again. But this one is fun. Spring is coming! How do I know? Well, if you'll look carefully at the little dark dot in the middle of the picture, you'll see why. That is a lime/fertilizer truck spreading its stuff on the fields. These trucks are huge and heavy - and they go fast. I don't know who had more fun; me watching or the driver cutting cookies all over the slick field and terraces IN A TRUCK! while pretending it was farm work. Ya gotta get a yuck where ever ya can!

Joyce and I had our first date in college on Valentine's Day. We were engaged on Valentine's Day. And she passed away last year on Valentine's Day. The first year when I was a young guy hot to impress her, I gave her a dozen roses. The next year, she told me she would love me just as much if I gave her just one rose - and we could do something else with the money I would have wasted on the rest of the dozen roses. Those were her words, not mine. She was always a very practical person. So every year for the last 47 years, I have given her one single red rose for Valentine's Day. Today, I'll have to give it to her - and to you - this way.

For you young kids, this is Jimmy Durante. He was an old vaudevillian. He was a top comedian in his day, but what he really was was a tremendous piano player. He disguised it by doing comedy acts at the same time, but Jimmy Durante could play the piano - or 'pianner' as he called it. Jimmy Durante tragically lost his first wife at a very early age. He was deeply wounded by it, and ever after closed all his acts - whether on TV, the stage or radio - by saying 'Goodnight Mrs. Calabash (a nod to his wife) where ever you are.' Then he walked off. So with my own nod to my own sweetie, I'll end by saying, as Jimmie Durante would have said, 'Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, where ever you are.'

Next time will be more fun, I promise.

TIMBER! The Farm Report 01-17-2020

TIMBER!
The Farm Report
 01-17-2020

Once upon a time, as they say, long long ago.... Trees like this Red Elm were quite common here. Then Dutch Elm Disease appeared on the scene in the 1960's and pretty much wiped out all the Elms. Mother Nature don't give up though, and now we do have a few that are growing again. This tree doesn't look like much, but for here on my farm, it was a big one. One of the delightful things about Red Elm is that when they die standing, the bark will fall off and the wood will dry. This wood is 'pre-dried' and ready to burn. Another other nice thing about Red Elm is that it is a premiere quality firewood. It will burn hot as coal, and clean. Thanks to my good neighbor, Ron, who cut this tree down for me, I'm ready to put up wood.

So speaking of good neighbors, I swiped this pic from an article that appeared in a December issue of the Washington Examiner. A reporter spent some time out in our neck of the woods with the local population trying to get a feel for what we're like out here in Iowa. I'm sure politics is involved somehow. I have more things in my life to worry about than who's the best liar, so I'm not too up on political caucus things. Somehow, his assignment landed him in Imogene, Iowa! Imogene is about 12 miles away from me, and is famous for two things: St. Patrick's church and the Emerald Isle. He was impressed enough to write that neighbors do neighborly things for each other where I live. (I guess they don't do that everywhere. Who Knew?) Ron proved that for me when he showed up one morning and offered to cut down my Red Elm tree for me. To say that work is dangerous would be sorta like saying that in July, we sometimes have uncomfortably warm and humid days. The truth is that in July sometimes it seems like I'm in a steam bath standing in front of a blow torch, and Dangerous as Hell is what that tree cutting job was! Ron knew what he was doing, and all went without a hitch or a hick up.

Here's a snipet and a link for you if you want to read the whole article:

Oh, and by the way, Imogene has a population of 30, and it is declining. Imogene is an Irish Catholic town that reminds me of Ballykissangel from the BBC shows. They like to have all the fun they can there, and I live right next door! The Emerald Isle is the local (one and only) pub/bar/restaurant.

"A block from Emerald Isle is a screened-in shed of sorts that in May served as the stage for “Floodstock.” Local performers put on musical acts for free, while the organizers collected $25,000 in donations for the victims of the horrendous floods of March 2019. The Knights of Columbus delivered tons of meals to flood victims, according to residents."

"...there’s no explicit barter here. His neighbor gives what Terry needs, and Terry gives what his neighbor needs. “You don’t even think about it. You just do it,” as Terry’s wife Deborah put it."

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/small-town-america-fights-for-its-life

Red Elm doesn't give up easily. You have to cut 'em off. They won't lean over and drop. Just that little bit of splinter wood standing up there is all that held the tree just before it gave up.

I love heating my house and shop with wood. And for those of us who do, just drool and look at those nearly perfect sized limbs ready to link up and split. Having dried standing, all the brushy top junk just popped off onto the ground when it hit. We have often enjoyed the "Annual" Ground Hog Day Weenie Roast here at Oakdale Farm. Maybe we can rake up the sticks and have a bonfire this year!

"Hey, Tim! I'm bored!  Isn't there anything we could go outdoors and do? There's gotta be something. Herding dogs aren't supposed to just lay around on pillows all day in some guy's office shredding fluffy toys." Annie is, to use the colloquial vernacular of the human experience, a High Maintenance Babe. She wants all the attention, all the time. And she will get it one way or another.

So we went out. In the lower left of the picture, you see my pride and joy, my 1952 Ford 8N tractor's hood. WAYYYYY down there in the field you'll see two little dots at the end of the terrace, if you look hard.

OK, so I'll make it easier for you. O.J. was sitting at the end of the grass terrace hunting mice. He had been there all morning. He does that. After 'breakfast' he will go outside and find a spot. Then he'll just hunker down and wait, and wait, and wait some more. Usually, he's repaid for his patience with dessert. This time though, Annie spotted him and wanted to get in on the act. It didn't go well for Miss Annie Oakley.... O.J. hunts alone, and he ain't kiddin'. Annie already knew this, but her short term memory ain't what you'd wish for. Will she ever learn?

Ah well, I'll admit it, too. I'm a little bored and ready for the new garden season. What to do? Sort seeds.

I do this every year about now. During the gardening season, I grab a packet of seeds or two and head for the garden in the afternoons. Fortunately, I keep my seeds pretty well organized; unfortunately, during the heat of the game, I'm not too good about putting them back where I found them. They get all muddled up - and then I sort them again.

I'm building tables to hold 5-gallon 'Dutch Buckets' in the greenhouse. This is a hydroponic technique that I've stumbled onto. It really works. Essentially, the plants live and produce in a 5-gallon bucket that is pump fed water and fertilizer through a recirculating system. It goes with the hydroponic strawberry patch. I'll show you more as I get it put together. This bench will hold about 16 buckets. I know...it's a long way to go for a head of lettuce, but it is good lettuce and it keeps me off the streets and outa the bars.

Other than that, all is as well as can be expected here at Oakdale Farm. My son Jon sent me a pic of himself the other day. He said he had been experimenting with filters and ended up making himself look grizzly, old and grey. Well, without any assistance from technology, I popped a selfie and sent it right back to him - no filters required! Yes, I did pose and made it look as bad as I could; but it wasn't hard, and it didn't take long! No wardrobe or makeup crew was involved either. Darn it. Is this proof that when you live alone on a farm in the middle of a giant cornfield in Iowa, you tend to revert to nature? As Garrison Keillor said on his 'Prairie Home Companion' show, "Who needs dignity when you can be in the show business?" Cheers until next time!

Annie's Christmas TuTu: The Farm Report 01-02-2020

Annie's Christmas TuTu
The Farm Report
01-02-2020

Everybody likes to get a present at Christmas time, even if you're not particularly religious. Annie isn't really into religion, but she likes getting presents, too. She's a 'girly girl' and just loves her new hot pink Ranger Ready Tutu. Not sure? Well just look at those ears! She knows that when we put on her new Tutu, we're going out in the Ranger - her personal fav.

Actually, the tutu is a safety harness. At the back of the last strap there is a steel hook I can connect to the 'Jerk Strap' that you can see just in front of her tail. If I have to stop fast, the harness catches her weight underneath her chest where it is better. Or if she sees a squirrel and tries making a giant leap out to get it.... It happens.

January 2020. If you blow this pic up you will see a lot of fresh black dirt down there by Walnut Creek. We just had to have another round of expensive dozer/excavating work done due to the floods last spring and summer.

Or, January 2020. You never know around here.

The trees were covered with a hoar frost that is just beautiful. It is the stuff that makes Christmas cards sparkle.

If you join these two pictures together, you'll see what I see when I look north towards my timber from the greenhouse.

4:30 in the afternoon. Nevertheless, the sun will come around and we will soon be having longer days. Time to plan and order seeds.

The Christmas cactus have been spectacular this year. 

This one is almost flourescent

How can you not look? Mama Nature is a real show stopper when she wants to be.

This one is an oldie but goodie. We got it free as a Walmart store opener giveaway a long time ago.

Here's a tip you might want to know about. I'm working along restoring the old Singer 66 'Red Eye' sewing machine. I'm a great big guy, and maybe you're bigger than your ancestors, too. The white wood is a little trick I've done for dozens of customers over the years. It is a simple spacer I put between the cabinet and the cast iron frame. Only an inch and a half, but it raises the work table surface just enough to make it comfortable for us big ol' brutes.

Just a simple slice of a 2 X 4 will do the trick.

I caught Annie and O.J. outside the other day in what looked like a fight. When I stuck my head out the door to see, they both looked up like little kids on the playground as if to say, "We're just playing. We're alright - really," and they went back at their game.

So I showed you pictures of 'Fuzzie' last time. That was Annie's new furry buddy the ex-raccoon. Now in addition to Fuzzy, she has added another fuzz ball. I'm calling this one Wuzzy. It is an opossum pelt. Get it? Remember the old rhyme: "Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair...." 

She's just as proud and possessive of Wuzzy as she is of Fuzzy. Yuk!

The hydroponic strawberry project is in hiatus for the winter, but signs are good! The strawberry plants look alive and healthy. 

They look at least as good as their brothers/sisters outside.

This one even has little blossom buds on it! I can't wait to see how this works come spring.

Aha! Maybe we will have fresh salad for the Superbowl Game after all. The spinach is doing great.

Amazingly, the lettuce hasn't cashed in either. Patience, Inman, Patience!

So what's a guy to do with his winter time? Make sausage! These are lightly smoked kielbasa and boy are they good. 

And corn bread! This is mostly for my reader, Kev, who is in England and says he's never tried the real thing. This is what it should look like, cooked in a hot cast iron skillet. Joyce's secret method: Oil and put the skillet in the oven when you light it to get the skillet really hot! Then make the batter and put it in the hot skillet to cook in the oven. When done, the corn bread will not stick. It won't. It is like magic. Eat the corn bread fresh and hot right from the oven with some ham and bean soup. Or put honey or fruit jam on it for breakfast - but hot! You'll love it.

And other than that, all is well at Oakdale Farm. Happy New Year to all, and let's go forward for another great ride around Old Sol in 2020.

EEEWWWWW!!! The Farm Report 12-14-2019

EEEWWWWW!!!
The Farm Report 12-14-2019

EEEWWWWW!!!

Or I suppose we could subtitle this edition 'Fuzzy's Revenge.' Apparently Fuzzy didn't have a good winter last year. It was a tough winter for all of us, but for raccoons especially, judging from Fuzzy's appearance.

"What?"

While I was splitting wood up in The Timber last week, I happened to look up and saw Annie Oakley proudly carrying something around.

"What the heck was that?" I said to myself.

She just chewed and chewed on it. She kept if far enough away from me that I could neither see what it was or - most importantly as far as she was concerned - take it away from her!

I figured out what it was, of course. She had become bored with wood splitting and had wandered off into the woods seeking fun and adventure. She has an incredibly sensitive sniffer, and found the remains of this dead raccoon. When I was packing up getting ready to go back down to the shop, Annie instinctively started burying Fuzzy - as I've named him - under an old cement mixer for safekeeping.

There are two things you should know about Fuzzy: 1. Annie has kept him now for about two weeks. He shows up when we're splitting at Picnic Point up in The Timber; but he has also regularly been showing up at the shop! Annie is carrying him and hiding him all over the farm. She is his best buddy - or should that be the other way around. Whatever. Fuzzy is both furry, stinky and also needs to be part of her herd. What more could a little dog want. 2. I often see people letting dogs lick their faces and sometimes even encouraging it. They will tell you a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's so it is just fine to let them lick you in the mouth. Well B.S. to that! Right after Annie cleans her, Umm, well you know what, she chews on Fuzzy. No licking for me please, Annie.

Annie is now in day 3 of recovery from her trip to use her Free Spay/Neuter coupon at the Fremont County Vet's. She's doing just fine thank you. Actually, she was doing just fine the very next day. She would have been a great mother and would probably have had great pups - but I'm an old guy and I'm just not up to it. Unless you have a reason to breed, please spay/neuter your animals. End of sermon.

It is a quieter time at Oakdale Farm. I'm continuing to make progress restoring this old Singer Red Eye 66 sewing machine. She's a beaut!

I've added a jib crane to the log splitter to make my lifting almost a thing of the past. 

And I'll finish with a story about being in shock and fear! Annie is a 6 month old pup - translate that to read obstinate naughty lovable teenager. She gets into trouble because she knows it will get my attention. Trying to be the more intelligent one on the premises, I have attempted to outwit her. Continue reading after you've stopped laughing and have wiped the tears from your eyes. I know.... Anyway, Annie likes to chew, and the best thing I've found for her is to just let her chew on empty - repeat that - empty plastic bottles. She has a ball. They're chewy and make noise. Fun.

I repaired a chair for a neighbor just before Thanksgiving. I use a number of adhesives and techniques because that's what I am - a retired professional furniture restorer and conservator. I've got tricks up my sleeve where you didn't even know there were sleeves. Medical grade superglue is one of my 'tack welding' tricks. I used some on the chair project. I was tired and finished the job a little later than I usually work in the shop. Next morning, when I was inspecting my job, I couldn't find the superglue bottle. YIKES! Oh no! Annie hides everything. Remember Fuzzy? Well, she buries and hides all her toys and buddies. I could not find that bottle! Right on the bottle, it says 'Bonds Skin Instantly' and they ain't kiddin'. Ask my good buddy Jerry T. about the time I glued myself to a chair during a teaching demo if you want a good story. What if Annie got that bottle back out from her hiding place and chewed a hole in it!? This would be almost certain death for her. It would weld her mouth shut - instantly - and the release agent is basically acetone. No way she could survive that long enough to release her before she succumbed. I spent all morning looking. My neighbor came over to help me look. Nothing. Annie was sequestered outside the shop. Well, after lunch we found the bottle. Uncharacteristically, I had put it away in the shop fridge where I keep it. When I closed the door to the fridge that night, another bottle pushed in front of it. All was well all along! Whew!

So here's the December calendar picture. It doesn't look much different than some of the November ones. November is really our transitional month. January could be snow covered or not. Time will tell. For now, it is just pleasantly quiet and Annie and I are enjoying it.

If I don't post again before the holidays, here's me wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a happy new year from Oakdale Farm.